MARRIAGE
When I got home that
night as my wife served
dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to
tell you. She sat down and
ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her
eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know
how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want
a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly.
She didn't seem to be
annoyed by my words,
instead she asked me
softly, why?
I avoided her question.
This made her angry. She
threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me, you
are not a man! That night,
we didn't talk to each
other. She was weeping. I
knew she wanted to find
out what had happened to
our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she
had lost my heart to Jane. I
didn't love her anymore. I
just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt,
I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated
that she could own our
house, our car, and 30%
stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then
tore it into pieces. The
woman who had spent ten
years of her life with me
had become a stranger. I
felt sorry for her wasted
time, resources and energy
but I could not take back
what I had said for I loved
Jane so dearly. Finally she
cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had
expected to see. To me
her cry was actually a kind
of release. The idea of
divorce which had
obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.
The next day, I came back
home very late and found
her writing something at
the table. I didn't have
supper but went straight
to sleep and fell asleep
very fast because I was
tired after an eventful day
with Jane.
When I woke up, she was
still there at the table
writing. I just did not care
so I turned over and was
asleep again.
In the morning she
presented her divorce
conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but
needed a month's notice
before the divorce. She
requested that in that one
month we both struggle to
live as normal a life as
possible. Her reasons were
simple: our son had his
exams in a month's time
and she didn't want to
disrupt him with our
broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me.
But she had something
more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried
her into out bridal room
on our wedding day.
She requested that every
day for the month's
duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front
door ever morning. I
thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last
days together bearable I
accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's
divorce conditions. . She
laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No
matter what tricks she
applies, she has to face the
divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had
any body contact since my
divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So
when I carried her out on
the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy
is holding mommy in his
arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From
the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I
walked over ten meters
with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said
softly; don't tell our son
about the divorce. I
nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down
outsidethe door. She went
to wait for the bus to
work. I drove alone to the
office.
On the second day, both
of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn't
looked at this woman
carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young
any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her
hair was graying! Our
marriage had taken its toll
on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done
to her.
On the fourth day, when I
lifted her up, I felt a sense
of intimacy returning. This
was the woman who had
given ten years of her life
to me.
On the fifth and sixth day,
I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing
again. I didn't tell Jane
about this. It became
easier to carry her as the
month slipped by. Perhaps
the everyday workout
made me stronger.
She was choosing what to
wear one morning. She
tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find
a suitable one. Then she
sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly
realized that she had
grown so thin, that was
the reason why I could
carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she
had buried so much pain
and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached
out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the
moment and said, Dad, it's
time to carry mom out. To
him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out
had become an essential
part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to
come closer and hugged
him tightly. I turned my
face away because I was
afraid I might change my
mind at this last minute. I
then held her in my arms,
walking from the
bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the
hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly
and naturally. I held her
body tightly; it was just like
our wedding day.
But her much lighter
weight made me sad. On
the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could
hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I
hadn't noticed that our life
lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped
out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I
was afraid any delay would
make me change my
mind...I walked upstairs.
Jane opened the door and
I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I
do not want the divorce
anymore.
She looked at me,
astonished, and then
touched my forehead. Do
you have a fever? She said.
I moved her hand off my
head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage
life was boring probably
because she and I didn't
value the details of our
lives, not because we
didn't love each other
anymore. Now I realize
that since I carried her into
my home on our wedding
day I am supposed to hold
her until death do us
apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly
wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then
slammed the door and
burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove
away.
At the floral shop on the
way, I ordered a bouquet
of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled
and wrote, I'll carry you
out every morning until
death do us apart.
That evening I arrived
home, flowers in my
hands, a smile on my face,
I run up stairs, only to find
my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting
CANCER for months and I
was so busy with Jane to
even notice. She knew that
she would die soon and
she wanted to save me
from the whatever
negative reaction from our
son, in case we push thru
with the divorce.-- At least,
in the eyes of our son---
I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your
lives are what really matter
in a relationship. It is not
the mansion, the car,
property, the money in the
bank. These create an
environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your
spouse's friend and do
those little things for each
other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy
marriage!
If you don't share this,
nothing will happen to
you.
If you do, you just might
save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are
people who did not realize
how close they were to
success when they gave
up.
What
is IRAC?
